Ways to Make Divorce Easier on Kids
Going through a divorce is never easy, but it’s especially complex when there are minor children involved in the situation. While you and your spouse are going through issues that bring up intense emotions, you also have to be mindful of your children and their feelings. This is one of the reasons it’s important to let your Tampa divorce attorney handle most of the legal matters. This will give you the time to help your children cope with the changing family dynamic.
Avoid Conflict in Front of Your Children
You may resent your spouse and you likely still feel the sting of betrayal, but that has nothing to do with your children. In addition to harming any custody issues you may be pursuing, arguing with your spouse in front of your children will negatively affect them. They will may worry that they’re responsible for the fighting or they may feel compelled to choose one parent over the other. This is not a healthy situation for your children and that should be reason enough to control where and when you engage in conflicts with your spouse.
Encourage Your Children to Discuss Their Feelings
Children can feel uneasy about opening up about their feelings as their parents go through a divorce. Throughout this time, you should be creating opportunities for your children to share their thoughts and feelings. The family dynamic is changing, so they will likely have many concerns to share. By encouraging them to share their feelings and honestly answering their questions, you can make this transition easier.
Be Supportive
Your children may need more than honest communication. This may be especially true in the beginning, as each parent occupies a separate residence and a custody arrangement is initiated. This is a time to encourage your children to share their thoughts about things that will make them feel better. If they feel a need to call the other parent, letting them do so may help them feel better.
Resist Bad-Mouthing Your Spouse
It’s tempting to make derogatory comments about your ex-spouse or to call them names under your breath. However, much like arguing with your ex-spouse in front of your children, criticizing your ex can harm your custody case and can have negative effects on your children. They will feel compelled to choose between you, which can do more harm than good. While the situation may leave you emotionally drained, it’s important to remember your children can be affected just as deeply.
Dispel Any Fantasies
As time goes on and your children adjust to the new family dynamic, you may see signs that they fantasize about a reunion of the family. While you and your ex-spouse should try to get along in a civil manner for the sake of your children, you should both make it clear that a reconciliation is out of the question. In fact, as time goes on, it may be wise to gradually discuss the idea of bringing a new partner into the mix. While that’s not something you’ll want to do right away, you will want to start dating again in time. It’s better to prepare your children for this eventuality than to spring it on them at one time.
From the moment you consult a Tampa divorce attorney and decide that this is the only option left, you should begin preparing your children. The change in the family situation will not be easy for them to handle, so you will have to be understanding but firm. It’s going to take many years before they really understand why
